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COUPLES THERAPY

A couple may come to therapy for a variety of reasons. Often, what becomes apparent from the outset is that the partners do not arrive with the same demand, nor with the same understanding of what has brought them there. This divergence is not treated as an obstacle, but as an essential aspect of each person’s subjective position—something the therapeutic work seeks to bring into view rather than smooth over.

Although couples often express a wish for closeness, emotional responsiveness, and mutual understanding, these expectations are frequently accompanied by frustrations, misunderstandings, and recurring conflicts. What is commonly described as a “communication problem” often points to something more fundamental: the difficulty of bringing into relation two different ways of desiring, committing, and relating to the other.

In couples therapy, the therapeutic space is structured so that both positions can be heard, without seeking to determine who is right or who is to blame. The therapist does not assume the role of mediator or judge, nor does the work aim at restoring an idealised harmony. Rather, conditions are created for the singularity of each position to emerge, together with the points at which expectations, desires, and fantasies converge or diverge.

The therapeutic work does not seek to “repair” the relationship in terms of adaptation or compromise. Instead, it opens the possibility for a re-examination of commitment, freedom, and the bond that has been formed. Through speech, space may be made for frustrations, disappointments, and desires that often remain unspoken, without these being immediately translated into accusations or demands.

Couples therapy presupposes the participation of both partners and a minimal willingness on each part to take up their own position within the relationship. It is not a process of imposition, of resolving practical arrangements, or of managing acute crises. Rather, it may offer a space in which questions can be posed anew: what this relationship means, how it has been constituted, and whether—and in what way—it may continue.